Laughter is the best medicine. It’s the only thing that saved me during this season as we have gone from stomach virus to sinus infection to ear infections to more flu like viruses. So I hope you all can laugh with me about this season of sickness!! It is almost over!!!
10 funny things that happen when your whole house is sick on and off passing germs back and forth for over two months….
1. Your kids eat ridiculous things.
We have no concept of meals or mealtime anymore. All rules of only eating in the dining room and snacks are for snack time have been thrown out the window. It started when we all had the stomach virus back in December… we were so excited when the kids felt like eating again that we just let them eat whatever they wanted. So it was pretzels and chips for breakfast followed by popsicles for lunch, etc. I saw Ava open the microwave of the play kitchen and take out a few old goldfish crackers. So they are storing it places too….
2. You and your spouse text shouty capital letters to each other…
With the kids being constantly sick it has been extra difficult to be at home with them! So whoever is the lucky one that gets to go to work on a particular day gets angry texts…
“WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME?!?”
“WE NEED MORE KLEENEX!”
“AVA IS CRYING FOR YOU!”
3. You have a “home uniform” that you don’t care if it gets covered in boogers, vomit, germs, etc.
I should have saved my scrubs from when I worked at the animal hospital! I come home and immediately change into the same sweats and t-shirt and just keep re-washing it!!
4. You become a druggie.
I admit it. I need ibuprofen and sudafed to function like a human being. i am a scary monster until i get these drugs in the morning! and of course coffee. like 5 cups. i have also been on two courses of antibiotics and a round of steroids so far. let me tell you steroids are NOT fun if you have anxiety!!!
5. you forget what day it is
you actually have very little concept of time anymore. days feel like weeks and minutes feel like hours. especially the two hours between waking up and when the pediatrician’s office opens!! i mean come on, kids wake up at like 6am!! why don’t you open until 8:30!? i am that lovely client that calls at 8:31 with a raspy desperate voice and demands an appointment at 9am…
you also run to rite aid at 8am sunday morning (in your “home uniform” and not knowing its sunday) and almost cry at the locked door. you look around and want to cry to the homeless guy across the street. maybe he has some drugs for you.
6. you are soooo excited for your own doctors appointment
i mean come on, at least an hour of “me time”!? I get to read a magazine and hope the doctor takes forever to get into my room. Then almost jump for joy when he says I need fluids. YES! Yes I will lay here and let you stick needles in me and give me fluids. That means I get to lay down for like 45 minutes?!?! can i have a glass of wine too please?
7. you are happy when you lose your voice
i used to hate when i lost my voice. now it’s kind of fun. i can’t yell at the kids so it’s like a free pass to let them do whatever they want. once and awhile you can go in and whisper “now now kids don’t hurt each other!” and they look at you like you are a foreign species. they’ve never heard you speak so quietly and gently before! you can also shrug and give your spouse the sad eyes- “i can’t talk can you handle it?”
8. grandparents have no sympathy for you
they call and say “how is my poor baby?” and you feel all warm inside and say “i feel awful.” and they say “no i meant my granddaughter”
9. visitors run away
well wishers will ring the doorbell with a container of chicken noodle soup. When you answer the door in your “home uniform” with a snotty child attached to your leg and somebody’s breakfast in your hair they will drop the soup and slowly back away…
10. you find things in strange places in your house
when you have a fever you are not thinking straight especially at 3am when your child wakes up screaming and puking. so you may find that you put the thermometer into the fridge instead of the medicine cabinet. Or your five year old might come up to you and say “guess what? i hid my dirty kleenex all over the house so now we can have a treasure hunt!” yeah that happened. or your husband might be the one putting the clothes away so all of a sudden you have tried to put your five year olds leggins on for five frustrating minutes before realizing they are not yours.
Thanks for reading, commenting and sharing!!
Here’s to a healthy rest of 2016 to you and yours!!!